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The Leavenworth Times - Leavenworth, KS
  • Reichley: Fun with words and introducing paraprosdokians

  • Since the holiday season is upon us, this column is a light-hearted one that has to do with words. It is in two parts, and the email that forwarded the first part did not give a title to what the word association was.
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  • Since the holiday season is upon us, this column is a light-hearted one that has to do with words. It is in two parts, and the email that forwarded the first part did not give a title to what the word association was.
    What it does is give a word or phrase, then rearranges the letters to make other words. The email's title was "Very Clever,' to which I fully subscribe. My question is how did whoever did this have the time it must have taken? Read on and ye shall see.
    Presbyterian: Best in prayer.
    Astronomer: Moon starer.
    Desperation: A rope ends it.
    The eyes: They see.
    George Bush: He bugs Gore.
    The Morse code: Here come the dots.
    Dormitory: Dirty room.
    Slot machines: Cash lost in me.
    Animosity: Is no amity.
    Election results: Lies – let's recount.
    Snooze alarm: Alas! No more z's.
    A decimal point: I'm a dot in place.
    The earthquakes: That queer shake.
    Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one.
    Mother-in-law: Woman Hitler.
    The other half is from an email titled Paraprosdokians, a word I'd never heard before and one the computer immediately underlined in red. But the email said they were a favorite of Winston Churchill, a noted wordsmith, and the term means a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and frequently humorous. Read on, and enjoy.
    Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
    The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
    Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
    We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
    War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
    To steal ideas from a person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
    In filling out an application, where it says "In case of emergency who do we notify," I always put "A doctor."
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and beer belly and still think they are sexy.
    You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
    Page 2 of 2 - I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
    To ensure hitting the target, shoot, then call whatever you hit the target.
    Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
    You're never too old to learn something stupid.
    I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder to find one now.
    John Reichley is a retired Army officer and retired Department of the Army civilian employee.
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