To make things easier, why couldn’t he just send me a text. It’s either yes, no or wait, the three answers I seem to be continuously searching for.
Although he's my guide, the light in the darkness, the voice of reason, when I ask, “Jesus, take the wheel,” I still continue to drive and often make him take the backseat. He gave us the freedom to make our own choices, decisions and life paths, but more often than not, I neglect and ignore what I need the most – faith.
There's nothing easy about having and keeping faith in someone you can't see or touch.
It's even harder to stay connected and not expect immediate results or answers from prayers.
I'm so wrapped up into what I need or want, he could be answering prayers and I don't stop long enough to realize it.
Praying is another one of those things in life that's easier said than done. I quit trying to have my quiet time with him when I lay down at night. About the time I finish with my prayers of protection for my loved ones, I fall asleep before I get around to thanking him for all the great things in my life. I don't want to come across as rude or greedy, so I try to stay thankful all day.
Hopefully there's not a rule in which prayer can only happen with your eyes shut or head bowed because, for me, it tends to be an ongoing conversation. I can only hope I’m listening when he answers.
I’ve found myself apologizing more than being thankful nowadays as I can easily get lured into behaviors I’m not proud of. I know I shouldn’t gossip, but I do. I shouldn’t get so wrapped up in the wrongdoings of people, whether it be in politics, Hollywood or family, it’s none of my business. It’s a perfect example of having a log in my eye, while talking about the splinter in someone else’s. He never said being a believer would be easy, in fact, quite the opposite.
I sure hope there’s no limit on how many times I can be allowed a do-over, as I seem to ask for forgiveness often.
I look at my life and know this is my answered prayer, but then at the same time, feel guilty I’m always asking him to protect my loved ones. How can I be so selfish with my prayers? I have given him empty promises and then have to ask, again and again, for forgiveness. It’s a continuous cycle. God knocks, I answer, and eventually I turn away. God knocks, I answer, I turn away. I don’t go to church and don’t follow his rules and yet, he still knocks.
I hope your basket overflows with prayers, promise and persistence as we celebrate Easter and the one person who always keeps his promise.
Sandy Turner is a GateHouse Media columnist.