What’s the fascination of hitting a ball with a stick and then spending quality time trying to find it in the weeds?
I’m too old to pick up a new sport, kinda like trying to teach an old dog new tricks. It just isn’t going to work for me. I finally told him if he wants to play golf I will gladly watch from the golf cart, but there are just too many factors involved for me to play golf. I came up with this realization after it took me two hours just to figure out how to hit the ball off the tee.
I really thought I’d have a better chance hitting the ball with the driver. It’s so much bigger, and when he hit the ball with an easy swing, it would fly far with seemingly not much effort. After several unsuccessful swings, he suggested I practice just hitting the tee for awhile. Even that took much more effort than I was willing to put toward the game of golf.
When it was all said and done, having to worry about how to grip the club, where to stand, which arm and leg should move and which ones shouldn’t, I walked away from the driving range with little more than sore arms and sides. I thought about challenging him to a game of kick the can, since I know my foot can at least make contact.
Playing games as a grown-up can be scary since getting hurt is more of a reality than a probability. I’m at the point now even roller skating is intimidating. The whole time I’m thinking it doesn’t look like a long way down, but I bet I could do some real damage if I connect with the concrete floor.
I tried to play racquetball once, and after the first couple of balls buzzed back at me like missiles I gave up with several perfectly round bruises. Tennis balls don’t hurt quite as much, but then again you have to worry about tennis elbow. I did manage to be on a bowling team for several years but even now, when I take the grandkids, my back seems to pay the price.
It seems like it takes a whole lot more equipment, money and energy to play the games of today. What happened to being excited when someone in the neighborhood bought a new appliance and the empty box became a clubhouse? Skateboards and hoverboards have taken the place of bikes with a pretty basket tied onto the front and cards pinned to the spokes. Such things as iPhones occupy the hands of kids instead of jacks, jump ropes and marbles. Paintball and laser tag have taken the place of shadow tag – in which all you needed was the sun.
I’m getting enough exercise chasing around two lab puppies and seven grandchildren. I don’t need to take up the game of golf. If I’m going to take a mulligan, it’s going to be for breaking one of his power tools.
Sandy Turner lives in Independence, Missouri. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org