DOWN HOME: What could be scarier than Halloween?

Staff Writer
The Leavenworth Times
Sandy Turner

The pitch dark room lit up after flashes of lightning. Shadows bounced off the walls as rain pelted the windows. The perfect scenario for a great night’s sleep.

If it’s not real, it doesn’t scare me, although I have owned a see-through shower curtain since watching the movie “Psycho” and still cringe when a large flock of black birds flies overhead.

I love a scary movie, not the chainsaw massacre kind, but the ones you walk away from wondering if it really could happen. That’s the magic potion for me. It’s only scary if it’s real life.

It’s scary to think there are real monsters out there who only want to trick our children instead of treating them. Only crazy zombies would want to hurt a kid, whether their own or someone else’s. It’s sad to think my grandkids will never experience the freedom I once did, as society has forced parents into having to hover over their kids with so many monsters lurking around.

It is scary to think stupid people are turning governmental affairs into a freak show. When there’s more drama in the political world than there is in our high schools, we may have a serious problem. The “he said, she said” rumor mill is terrifying enough without having to witness our leaders jump in on the monster mash head first. We can only hope some of these monsters take their masks off soon.

Going to the dentist can be terrifying for a lot of folks but, even though the dentist, his drill and three-inch needles are real, it doesn’t scare me. Not going to the dentist and having your teeth fall out is scarier.

Finding out my gray hairs grow faster and stronger than the others is scary. Having single strands of hair grow out of the side of my cheek is scarier, especially when my daughter announces the fact in public and then proceeds to try and pull it out.

Not being able to sit cross-legged on the floor for longer than 10 minutes is scary. Not being able to get back up is scarier. It seems as though it happened overnight – my knees are creaking more than the floor. I can still bend over and tie my shoe although the balancing act trying to accomplish this task can be very scary.

Public restrooms can be scary. Trying to outsmart the automated faucets and dryers is scarier. I’m pretty sure I scare people as I wave my hands frantically over and under the thing to get it started. Same issue making a purchase at the store. It’s never the same process and it scares me I’m going to guess it wrong – swipe, chip or tap – only the plastic card knows what the reader wants.

Halloween night wasn’t scary – getting on the scales after eating all the treats was horrifying.

Sandy Turner lives in Independence, Missouri. Email her at